>Wrap your uploader in Java ( yikes!)

That was is a no go.

>Check file size once it gets on to the destination server, if file is too big, then send error and discard. Or interrupt the rest of transfer.

That's the problem. If someone sends a very big file, using that validation, we would have to wait until the file fully received. Thus, it can time out the server and this is a problem I am trying to resolve.