>Alex,
>
>Aren't you mixing up things here? I cannot be jealous for not being a jew, because I am a jew. I must admit, my mother isn't. Oh right, that implies that I am not a jew. Ghee, I almost forgot that. But most of my brothers and my sister are fully jewish.
>
>Whatever my real status, what I was criticizing is orthodoxy. That you made the swing from atheism to orthodoxy is really a pity. How on earth can you believe all those silly stories from the thorah?!

Hi Peter,

To be brutally honest, I still have to come to terms with what I believe and what I don't.

I don't think it's a pity that I was very religious at some point. I guess it was just part of my personal quest, but I did have a great time during those years, and the fact that I didn't remain "faithful" proves that that wasn't really my path, so I'm still waiting and seeing what will happen.

One thing I did learn from that experience, though, was that orthodox jews are not proud (literally) about one thing or another. They just flow with the punches and go on with their lives, which are as rich as anyone else's.

There's a difference between carrying yourself with dignity (as they do) and to have an "in your face" attitude, which they don't. They don't dress in black suits as a way to distinguish themselves, they just do it because that's what they believe in. Muslims do the same, and yes, they (orthodox jews and muslims) may look different as a result but that's about it. They're happy with who they are and that's something respectable. Those that don't wish to pursue their parents' ways are always free to depart, and if their characters are strong enough they will, in spite of being ostracized by the communities they once belonged to.

I think that non-orthodox jews have far more issues, one of which is to feel proud of being jewish, which to me is just as absurd as being proud of having a belly button or a rectum - it's something you are born with. To me one should be proud of one's accomplishments but not of something that just happens to be part of who you are.

Non-orthodox jews often cry out that they're proud of being jewish, just like black people or gays flaunt personal characteristics as something to be proud of, and I think that's definitely wrong. If you're jewish, black, white, gay, whatever, that's just what or who you are, period. If other people choose to disrespect you for what you are, that's their loss and you can choose to worry about it or not.

Just like you feeling jewish, which I'm sure others don't consider you, but that is THEIR problem. You are who you feel you are or who you want to be.

BTW, during my adventures in lubavitch-land, I was accompanied by a close friend who wasn't born jewish (his grandfather was the only jew in his lineage), however, he managed to convince everyone of his jewish identity for years, and later on, as he did go on to become orthodox, underwent a formal conversion which made HIM feel complete - I never thought less of him because of this and perhaps this was the reason why he shared this dark secret with me.

Have fun!

Alex