These days it would go:

Census Taker: Hello I'm from xyz Corporation and we tendered the lowest price to assist you in your statutory duty to participate in the census. We're going to work together for the next few minutes to help ensure you do not face penalties ranging from fines to incarceration for failing to answer fully. At the completion of your civic duty you will receive a coupon for a free Big Mac and you'll go in the draw to win an iPod.

Citizen: Not worth my while.

Census Taker: OK I'll give you 2 burger coupons and a coupon for free fries.

Citizen: Not enough. I need a superesize meal for everybody who lives here. That's 8 supersize coupons. Hand em over or I'm shutting the door.

Census Taker: OK so 8 people live here?

Citizen: No, 3.

Census Taker: So why do you need 8 coupons?

Citizen: Always a wiseguy. that's my best offer, take it or leave it.

Census taker: Are you sure the kids wouldn't prefer filet-o-fish?

Citizen: What kids?

Census Taker: what about your wife?

Citizen: Huh? Heeey, you think I'm so stoopid you can find out who's inside without giving me the coupons and iPods you promised? I oughta kick your a*ss.

Census Taker: OK, I'm going to write down that 3 males live here aged 35, 33 and 18. Is that correct?

Citizen: Do I get the coupons if it's correct?

Census Taker: Yes.

Citizen: Then that's correct. (calling back into house) Heeey, Mom, I just won us a meal in a restaurant!

Census Taker: Thanks for your co-operation and here's your coupons.

Citizen: no problem. always willing to do my bit for my country. Heey, there's only 3 burger coupons here and no ipods at all. That's not the deal, buster! I'm calling my lawyer.