>Canada is secretly assimilating the USA

What did you do Grady!

Now the secret is out.

>...so soon you will have some good beer. Shhhhhh.

As long as you're telling secret we could tell them that a part of the secret plan is to give them beer for a while and stop when they really see that what they drank before is just colored water. After that they'll agree to anything to have real beer again Wouhahahahahahaaaaaa.