Hey Mike,

Sounds like you may on the road to Wellsville. Now, if you really want to find Nirvana, go ahead and join the Republican party! You've already got the big house and once you join, you'll have to be happy because you'll be one of us rich guys. (He said on a cop's salary) I have a large home outside the suburbs (because I built it myself), my family is intact and I have been doing philanthropic work recently. I am a staunch conservative, Republican (you probably had forgotten). <g>

It's almost syllgistic, it's just soooooo easy. No worries, no cares, everything is wonderful. Oh yeah, you'll also need to become a Southern Baptist!<vbg>

Now on the serious side, material things aren't the answer, as you are aware. The ultimate question you have to answer is really - "why am I here?" Once you come to an understanding of that question, the next is "what do I do now?" The quentissential existential question. Like a rodeo rider, you make the ride and when life bucks you off, you get your hat, knock the dust off, and get back in the saddle. Life is not a spectator sport - is it?<s>



>Me are fine, well, as well as a 49 year old guy with only visitation rights and a stalled career and no regular woman in his life can be expected to feel. Correct me if I'm wrong but I expected things would be better at this point in life. I was expecting the big house in the suburbs, the happy family unit, the luxury to philanthropize. Comfort, in a word. I feel anything but comfortable. I have the big house in the suburbs, sort of big anyway, and I live in it alone. Is that an answer?
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>On the bright side, I still have my daughters and they remain the lights of my life. I just bragged about them the other day so will not do so again. (As a parent yourself, fill in the blanks). I am finally, after three companies' worth of broken promises, about to embark on a .NET project and am giddily excited about that. I went out to dinner on Wednesday with a woman I know from soccer, a date I wanted to break out of continued remorse over my last busted relationship, made myself go, and what do you know, we were amiable. Amiable promises nothing but it's something in itself. Maybe the sun is about to shine on me.
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>Thank you for not replying.
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>Yours in non-conversation,
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>Mike