>One of the MDs in the elevator poked fun at me because there was nowhere to go but "up," but really I meant, "Are you wanting to get on the elevator? If so, please get on so we can go up." I had never considered the other interpretation of my question, but I got my smile for the day.

OK, I see I'll have to contribute to this treasury of human achievements. I got this story from one of my customers back home, and it was eventually published in a geek magazine in Belgrade.

He was trying to receive a fax from some lady in another company. After four attempts he got nothing. He's already lost enough time on that, so, just to make sure the other side isn't doing anything stupid, he calls her again:

"Alright, let's try this again... are you sure you've inserted the paper into the machine?"

The lady on the other side thinks she's covered the microphone on her phone, but she didn't - so he heard her say this to her colleague:

"Now look how cheap this guy is - he wants to make sure we put paper in our fax machine so he doesn't need to waste his!"