>>First, my wife is not my wife to fulfill my desires/wishes. Among other things, she is there as a helper for me as I pursue sanctification. She is there to be a helper to me as we raise our children. She is also there to be a helper to me in pointing out areas that I need attention/correction. She's not my "jeannie in a bottle." She's not my slave. She's my wife - my lifelong partner as we together pursue lives that bring glory to God.
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>Are you her "helper" as well?

Sure - it takes both of us to raise our family.

My responsibility to lead our family spiritually. To be sure we're attending a good church - that we are having times of family worship - that I am teaching my family in the daily trials that we face. That's primarily where her submission comes into play. It is not her role to lead us spiritually - that is the husband's role. Now, she does teach the children from the Bible and she does pray with them - but under my leadership. If something is found to be lacking in our family's spiritual health, I am the one who accepts and is given the blame.