I've read most all of this thread and can only conclude, since you are all still here, that you are all going to hell. At this very moment I am just beginning to float toward the ceiling and out of the office (I'm typing with one hand while holding on to my desk with the other) but thought I'd sign-off UT first. The Rapture is happening right now and I guess I've been invited.
I'm blessed with immortality. Heaven will never have me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over. ;)