>I kind of think we're talking in circles now. Ultimately, the agreement must be resolved by you. As you said in another post, if your Elders disagreed with you, you'd ask her forgiveness, but if they agreed with you, you would follow Matthew 18, which to me means you'd bring the force of the church to bear on her, and if she still disagrees, then what? She is left as a heathen?
>

Yes - if after the church discipline process is completed and she has still not repented then she would be treated as an unbeliever.

>The bottom line here, at least for me, Howard, is that she is not finally responsible to make her own decisions. She is a human being. To me that means she has a right and a responsibility to decide her own life for herself.

Yes - she has a right and responsibility to decide her own life for herself. She understands what the marraige relationship is supposed to be BEFORE she enters into it. She made a decision at that time to submit to her LOVING husband's leadership. She then has a responsibility to live that out as best she can.