Ring... Me: Hello? Him: Hello. Do you own a computer? Me: Why, yes, I do. I also have a lovely top of the line stereo system and a state of the art TV. I also have some very nice and expensive jewellery that I keep in a wall safe in the bedroom. It's behind a mountain landscape painting. Not the one over the bed; the one opposite the window. Why do you ask? Him: Ah, sorry. I'm calling from Rogers cable. I wonder if you've thought about a high speed internet connection. Me: Don't I have to have basic cable before I can have internet cable? Him: Yes. Me: I don't have cable and I don't really want it. Him: It's only $15.00 a month. Me: It's not that. I just don't want it. Him: Well, for only $10.00 a month instead, you can have it blocked. Me: Hmmm... Ok, let me get this straight. I can have basic cable for $15.00, or I can NOT have it for $10.00 a month? Him: Yes, that's right. Me: Well, I haven't had cable now for about 10 years. So how much do I owe you? Him: What? Me: Well, if not having cable costs $10.00 a month, I must owe a lot of money. Him: Oh, yeah. Me: Ok, then how about this. Suppose I choose to not have premium stations instead of just not having basic. How much would that cost me instead? Him: < Long pause > Me: Ok, no, sorry. I'm not interested. Him: < Hangs up >