>>>I actually had a call like that. She'd left her monitor on the night before and someone had turned the brightness all the way down, thinking they were being helpful.
>>>
>>>While she was on the phone in panic, I could almost hear her reach out and turn that knob. "Never mind." (click)
>>>
>>>
>>>>I always hear that one starting out about the woman who's monitor won't work and it's because there is a power outage.
>>>>
>>>>>"See the big red switch on the case? Make sure it's in the "0" or down position. Unplug everything, box it up, and send it back. You shouldn't have a computer"
>>
>>On a slightly different vein, I remember a number of years ago back when you were required to get at least basic cable in order to get internet cable, I got a phone call one day from a telemarketer. This is as close to the actual conversation as I can recall.
>>
>>

Ring...
>>Me: Hello?
>>Him: Hello. Do you own a computer?
>>Me: Why, yes, I do. I also have a lovely top of the line stereo system and a state of the art
>>    TV. I also have some very nice and expensive jewellery that I keep in a wall safe in the
>>    bedroom. It's behind a mountain landscape painting. Not the one over the bed; the one
>>    opposite the window. Why do you ask?
>>Him: Ah, sorry. I'm calling from Rogers cable. I wonder if you've thought about a high speed
>>     internet connection.
>>Me: Don't I have to have basic cable before I can have internet cable?
>>Him: Yes.
>>Me: I don't have cable and I don't really want it.
>>Him: It's only $15.00 a month.
>>Me: It's not that. I just don't want it.
>>Him: Well, for only $10.00 a month instead, you can have it blocked.
>>Me: Hmmm... Ok, let me get this straight. I can have basic cable for $15.00, or I can NOT
>>    have it for $10.00 a month?
>>Him: Yes, that's right.
>>Me: Well, I haven't had cable now for about 10 years. So how much do I owe you?
>>Him: What?
>>Me: Well, if not having cable costs $10.00 a month, I must owe a lot of money.
>>Him: Oh, yeah.
>>Me: Ok, then how about this. Suppose I choose to not have premium stations instead of just not
>>    having basic. How much would that cost me instead?
>>Him: < Long pause >
>>Me: Ok, no, sorry. I'm not interested.
>>Him: < Hangs up >
>>

The Marx Brothers had a bit similar to that, in which they are a band and Groucho is the manager ---

Man: How much does the band cost?
Groucho: $10 an hour to play, $12 an hour to not play. And $15 an hour for rehearsing.
Man: What about not rehearsing?
Groucho: Forget it. If we don't rehearse, we can't play, and that runs into real money.