>I am really scaring the h**l out of myself. Not even trying to control the narrative any more, just hanging on. My name is Mike and I am an alcoholic. I am going to go into rehab.
>
>Yeah, sure, as my friend Marie said so many times. You like to say it but you can't do it. You won't get help. It's just your stupid secret. You drink because you want to drink, period.
>
>Push send, dummy.

Mike;

I have known several alcoholics. One was a basketball player who could not do anything without a good belt! He would turn white as a sheet if he did not drink and have no coordination.

After you realize and admit to yourself that you are an alcoholic you can turn your attention to controlling the problem. You have to learn to forgive yourself. If you enter a program you have to stay with it.

Being a human you might fail along the way. If you do pick yourself up and start again. By all means get into a program ASAP. The best to you.

Tom