>I am really scaring the h**l out of myself. Not even trying to control the narrative any more, just hanging on. My name is Mike and I am an alcoholic. I am going to go into rehab.
>
>Yeah, sure, as my friend Marie said so many times. You like to say it but you can't do it. You won't get help. It's just your stupid secret. You drink because you want to drink, period.
>
>Push send, dummy.

I was on a good path to becoming one, in my college days. We didn't drink regularly, but when we did, six beers per evening per capita was the norm. There was one rule, though, which is deeply ingrained in our culture: never drink alone. Which, then, turned out to almost no drinking once the kids came, and I noticed that we drank less and less. So we (wife and I) actually never had it come even close to a problem. But of course we knew a few people who did, and know how they went down.

We still have the drinks around the house. Instructions for use, step one: wipe the dust off the bottle. We even regularly buy beer, a few dozens every year. Drink seldom, but drink something good when you do.

Since you've already gone through to the other end, I figure you can't get back to that one-drink-a-month, you'll probably have to achieve the zero. The good thing is that you're probably not that far gone, if you're able to write messages here and still totally make sense in them, solve problems etc. You seem to be in good shape, and you're taking this turn still on time.

Well, I figure your best tool and reason for that would be VFP. Concentrate on learning and coding - it'll keep you occupied and you won't even notice how long you went without anything else. Um... don't forget to eat from time to time :).

Good luck! If you need any moral support, we're here.