Naomi - I just want to add my voice to the others here. It's clear you're in pain, but there is help available. Talk to someone-your husband, your doctor, your rabbi, a friend-and get help. I'm pretty sure things are not as awful as they seem to you right now.

If you don't have a doctor you can talk to, walk into the emergency and tell someone what you're feeling. They'll help you.

Tamar