>>>>>>Walter, US citizens have concepts of freedom drummed into them from a young age. "Civil rights" has a remarkable meaning that takes some getting used to, with intelligent people pouncing on any apparent impingement in rights, no matter how trivial, in the (correct) belief that this behavior will ensure that rights are not eroded.
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>>>>>I understand the hammering on the concept of "Civil rights". However, hammering on the concept of freedom seems to me more a result from slavery rather something to achieve in life. It stumps me again and again that I see freedom explained as a goal in life rather than a right. To me Happyness is a goal in life, not neccesarely freedom, as we all know we are slaves at our own device.
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>>>>The trouble with stating happiness as goal is that every now and then a new version of an old dogma would pop up and say that everyone is happy when they know their place, because that gives them stability and orientation. Which is just another excuse to reduce the mobility and enforce some sort of social stratification, anywhere between classes and castes.
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>>>The problem with the idea of happiness is that it is a moving goalpost. When you "achieve" your happiness it will soon become average, nothing special. Then you will need to find another level of happiness. All attachments, whether to material things or mental states, will lead to unhappiness. Non-attachment is the correct approach.
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>>If it is a moving target, then it can't be the right one.
>>I believe we misuse happy for glad too often. You hear "Oh, I'm so/very happy I won..." instead of "I'm glad I won...".
>>Plus, do we have degrees (comparative, superlative) for "happy"? Isn't it similar with being in love (or pregnant ;))?
>>I heard that you should look for happines inside you not outside. If you can find it, it's possible that you could be happy while in jail, tortured, etc., in other words your happiness will not be affected by external circumstances. Of course, it is not as easy as it sounds (to go serching inside yourself), which may explain why there are so few people that are really happy.
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>The people I have known who seemed happiest have been those who are content with what they've got. I think of my grandmother. She never had much money, didn't live in a fancy house (she lived in trailers, which is one of the reasons I hate the phrase "trailer trash"), and so on and so forth. By today's striving standards she was pretty much a failure. But she had family and friends -- the church was filled to overflowing at her funeral -- and those were enough to content her. She was the kind of woman who would hum to herself while peeling potatoes. I still miss her sometimes. You know how we all have one favorite relative, the one who gives their love unreservedly and asks nothing in return? She was mine.

Sweet memories... We all "know" sayings like: the happiest people don't always HAVE the best of everything they just MAKE the best of everything. Did you talk to her about how to actually practice that?