>>One of my favorites: "That brings up a third down situation." Oh, is that the situation? It doesn't just bring up THIRD DOWN? (Channeling George Carlin).
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>>Another one, which is almost a reflexive statement when the ball is close to the first down marker: "It all depends on the spot." Uh, yeah....
>
>One of our house favorites: "X-rays were negative." Well, of course, they were. They're always negatives.
>

I was X-rayed for a possible concussion and the X-rays showed nothing (rimshot).