>>>>>>>I spent the weekend in Detroit at the annual AYSO youth soccer conference. As always it was good to see old friends and attend the sessions. Lots of food for thought. You come out of there so charged up you want to grab a shovel and clear the fields for an early start of spring season.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>The keynote speaker Friday night was a guy named John Ouelette who is the top coaching advisor in AYSO. He said one thing that has stuck in my mind and I think is worth passing along. Actually he said many interesting things with humor, insight, and heartfelt passion -- the holy grail of public speaking. I have attended many of John's coaching sessions and they are always packed. The energy and ideas fly off him like sparks.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>In his talk Friday night the phrase that has stuck with me was buried somewhere in the middle. It wasn't the point of John's speech. It struck me as profound nonetheless. Here is my best paraphrase ---
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>One thing we really have to watch out for is burnout. At work, yeah, it happens. [anecdotes about work burnout] But we shouldn't let it happen here. We're volunteers. We don't have to do this! Why are we here? Right. For the kids. If we can't give them positive enthusiasm we shouldn't be here at all. What is one of our five fundamental principles? Positive coaching. We owe them that. And by that I don't mean just yelling "Great, great, great!" They're not that dumb, not even at U-6. They know when they've messed up. What I mean is showing them the fundamentals, how to do it properly. Keep even the criticism positive. That's not being a sellout, it's understanding the psychology of young kids. Stay positive, get positive, or go somewhere else.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>SET PARAPHRASE OFF
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>As those of you who know me know, I am not the Pollyanna type. Probably a little cynical. But I have not reached the degree of corrosive cynicism where positive calls fall on deaf ears. I really did hear this one, enough so to pass it on. (And no, this isn't a chain letter, this is just me, or should I say John Ouelette).
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Stay positive ---
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Get positive ---
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Or go somewhere else
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>As a parent, I agree.
>>>>>>I also think that at the age of 6 or 7 they should should learn the difference between winning and losing and how to be gracious in doing both; and yes, to put everything in proper perspective. I guess the term I'm looking for is "sportsmanship".
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>I disagree with you strongly.
>>>>
>>>>What else is new? :-)
>>>>
>>>>>Not with the concepts of sportsmanship and perspective but with the age appropriateness. They're little kids! Of course we want to start instilling core values from an early age, and we do so whether we want to or not, but so often we expect kids to be able to act like adults before they are in any way ready to handle it. Somehow it becomes about the egos of adults.
>>>>
>>>>At 6 or 7 they know the concept of good sportsmanship. I think you maybe under estimatling their ability to comprehend just a bit on this.
>>>
>>>
>>>The specific point at the conference was whether 5 and 6 year olds should be expected to do proper throw-ins. According to the speaker, Joe Eldridge, they don't even fully understand the concept of lines yet. (Which is one of the reasons AYSO recommends there be no referees at U-6). He said this is according to child psychologists who are plugged into AYSO. That was quite striking to me. Of course we all want the best for our children but maybe we are in too much of a hustle sometimes for them to be where we imagine them. They're KIDS. In all our dealings with them we should be age appropriate. It's hard to do because it takes us out of our normal way of thinking.
>>
>>It seems that you didn't play soccer when you were 7 years old.
>
>Please clarify. I'm not sure what emotion(s) you are projecting onto me.
>
>FWIW when I was 7 the whole world seemed like sports. Basketball, football, baseball, dodgeball, you name it. Soccer was not one of them because it basically didn't exist in that place at that time. It all seemed like playing. Which is another AYSO core concept, even in the serious coaching classes. Make it fun and they might not even realize it's a conditioning drill.

Kids understand and respect rules better than adults because the latters already learned how to go around them. Telling kids that everything is for fun just speed up this learning process.