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I know this is not a writers' group, but....
Message
De
28/03/2007 08:48:56
 
 
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Forum:
Business
Catégorie:
Rédaction créative
Divers
Thread ID:
01209048
Message ID:
01209165
Vues:
23
>You're right, that sure is a cliche. What I wanted to do was immediately grab the reader's interest in the two main characters without a lot of distractions.

I think it's better to start with ...

Lucinda Hess was dressed in black with a twist, on the day her now late husband Charlie was put in the ground.

Although I'm sure you, as a native speaker, can write it better, but the point I'm trying to make is that Lucinda Hess is one of the two main characters, not her now late husband. So, focus on her full name rather than on the full name of her husband.

That's all, for now. :)
Groet,
Peter de Valença

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