>Ouch, someone pull the knife out of my back!
>
>There is some truth to that. We were pretty simpatico on those items. The problems were elsewhere. As the daughter of an alcoholic she couldn't stand the thought of us getting together and then me relapsing. She said I just couldn't stand to see you like that. The other one was geography. My daughters are here and I am in no position to move far away until Emily finishes high school, which is four years from now. And she has her stuff in California (Bay Area) -- high level work position, home design business on the side, friends, etc. At one point she said she would come buy a house in the Chicago area. I said you're a Cali girl, you'll hate Chicago. She said actually I'm an island girl who hates California. And back and forth it went. We had periodic breakups and reconciliations and then early this year she said goodbye for good. She said I can't do this any more, Mikey, I have to take care of my heart. And you please do the same. We had gone through cycles like this
>before and it took me a while to realize she really meant it this time.
>
>I hope her heart is healed. In my crappy nightmares, in that dead zone between 2 and 4 a.m., I imagine it being way more than healed. She was the one for me. She sure was. I am doing my best to come to terms with the fact that she is gone.
>
>Well, there was probably a more honest answer than you expected <g>. We're all human. I only just wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I will do my best not to speak of her again.

Time to move on I'd say...

How about purchasing couple od hawaian shirts and weird sunglasses
and moving down south. New places always bring new faces and give you
new energy and strength. Sometime even bring up parts of our personality that we are not even aware we posses. Imagine you move down to Florida
or west to California and find new inspiration / meet new person at Flamengo dancing class you just enrolled to... :))

Cheers / wish you luck :)