You really need to turn the page and move it. Chalk this all up to experience. I find that sometimes it's really easy to be hard on myself when I make a really dumb mistake. But if you make the mistake once and can learn from it so you don't do it again is a close second to not doing it in the first place. You seem to be truly sorry for what you have done.

Give youself a few seconds... take a deep breath... and let it go.

>Hi everybody,
>
>I am asking an apology for what I did. For hacking Andy's account and for sharing this informaiton with a friend.
>
>I can try to defend myself using all the circumstances that led to this, but I would not.
>
>My Admin rights are now revoked - I wish I gave up them myself when somebody much wiser than me suggested it.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>I beg everyone to not reply in this thread and stop replying in all the relevant threads.
>
>I ask Andy to try to forgive me for that I did and remove the blog entries defaming my and my friend's name from the Internet.
>
>From what I did I gained nothing but shame and humilliation.
>
>I still don't know who led to my original ban from foxite and what was wrong in my behavior that time. I wish these people tell me this, at least privately.
>
>I also wish to understand the reason why what happened in December happened. If I knew it, I may be not behaving the way I did.