>On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
>(talk about a news flash)

Well I've found a cheese here where there's a warning "contains milk".


>On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
>(as opposed to what?)

As opposed to use where there are no doors, so you can't decide which side of the door you are. Simple, isn't it?

>On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

I read in the instructions for the one we have: "first remove soil and peel from the vegetables".

>On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
>(Step 3: say what?)

I once had a tire manometer where instructions had 14 steps. Step 1: unscrew the cap from the tire valve. ... step 14: screw the cap on the tire valve.