>>I also wonder whether your parents really followed through on the other stuff. I learned early to keep the threats in line with the behavior I was trying to manage and not to make big threats for small misbehaviors. That way, when I used them for larger issues, they were more likely to be effective.
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>See....there you go, assuming that because my parents included paddling in the list that it was always the first solution. It wasn't - it was the last.

No, I wasn't assuming it was first, just wondering whether they followed through on the smaller consequences. I learned that if I said I was going to do it, I'd better do it, or I wouldn't be believed the next time.

I also worked hard to learn not to say "no" so much, especially not to let it be my immediate reaction to requests. That way, I didn't teach my kids that "no" really means "yes."

Tamar