>>Confuse shopkeepers by buying a sheet of wrapping paper and asking
>>them to wrap it.
>
>Once in Home Depot, I bought a pack of double A batteries (4 in the pack) and a laundry hamper. I dropped the batteries into the hamper and wandered around a bit. When I went to cash out, I took the batteries out and put them on the counter and the cashier rang them up, then she pointed to the hamper and said, "That too?". I said, "No, I just needed something to carry the batteries in". Believe it or not, I had to tell her I was joking and to ring up the hamper.

Some can be sooooooo dumb, eh?

I think I mentioned the time I asked our local convenience store girl for a bottle of Chilean Sauvignon Blanc.

"Ooh, can you say that again," she said.
"What, Sauvignon Blanc?" said I.
"Ooh I love the way you say that; do you speak Chilean?"