You shouted on a plane in the post 9-11 environment! You are crazy. <g> Be glad the didn't arrest you.

Well, in the last five years, here's a list of things I've blurted out on a plane, all of which resulted in harsh stares from the flight attendants:

- My comment last night about, "damn, I could be home watching Heroes right now"

- May 2004, flying over Chicago during a thunderstorm, horrible turbulence....was drinking a Budweiser....shouted out, "good lord, if this plane drops out of the sky, my last beer is gonna be a BUDWEISER!!! jeez..."

- Last summer, two kids in front of me, screaming their heads off while I was trying to take a nap....I said to the father, "hey, pops....six words....'mickey finn in their sippy cups'"

- May 2005, had to fly a dinky little turbo-prop....before the plane took off, I called a friend and gave my last will and testament, in case the propellers didn't work (flight attendent was REALLY mad at me for that one)

- June 2006, after coming out of the world's tiniest airplane bathroom...."I have no idea how two people can do mile-high club activities in something that small...."

- May 2002....long flight across the country, I slept most of the way....when I woke up, everyone was staring at me....I asked...'uhm, was I snoring?' Five people in unison shouted out 'YES!!!!!!'

- And my best one....I had some chocolate pop-tarts in aluminum foil that I stuck in the side of my laptop bag. It actually triggered something on the x-ray when I went through security....the security guy asked me what was in it...I said, "it's just a pop-tart...would you like one???'