Dmitry,

Thank you for the very generous offer but please, no need. And it's really not possible for me to disappear for a month even if it were free. Besides, the program I will be going to is 3 hours a day, 4 days a week. That is certainly not a trivial commitment. Plus evening meetings some days, as many as are needed.

I have a new mantra: not going to drink today. I can't control tomorrow, and I certainly can't control yesterday, but I can control today. With help.


>Mike,
>
>If you consider to check in an alcohol rehab clinic (or something of that nature) and I guess they are expensive, I will gladly write a check for $100 to help you in this battle. Maybe others will match this pledge as well.
>
>>We'll see. I have prematurely declared victory before, lord knows. All I can say is I am finally giving it a full effort. If there are any additional steps I can be taking, I don't know what they are.
>>
>>Insight? That would be new, too ;-)
>>
>>
>>>You show insight. That's one step. Do you think you can resist alcohol, any, today, tomorrow, next month, next year?
>>>
>>>>Yes, that is entirely correct. I have a much bigger problem with alcohol than I do with depression. One effect it has on me, in addition to utter loss of judgment and inhibition, is an agitated (hysterical?) emotional state. Things seem much worse than they really are. One thing I learned at the hospital, around some people with real depression (so bad they can barely get out of bed some days), is that my worries are relatively minor. Actually I consider myself quite lucky. I have a drinking problem which with effort and help can be tamed. Others have problems that are beyond their ability to control.
>>>>
>>>>>Just read your reply to Kevin. Yesterday I refrained from replying to that one. It was directed to you and it would have been an endeavour for me to convince people that some paragraphs should better not be said in a public forum. Sure, of course there are many here who thought "How could he do this to his daughters". But the fact is that a real depression totally changes the perception of what's important and what's not. From your answer to Kevin I get the impression that alcohol is a necessary prerequisite, a crucial factor. Resisting alcohol (entirely) will have to be priority #1, right? I'm sure your battle isn't over yet, but I'm hopeful you will succeed.