>My dad flipped out on me once, just once, when I was 18. He grabbed me by the collar and shoved me against a wall. I almost cried instantly from fear. I wasn't hurt permanently, and you can bet I never talked to my mom like that again.

I actually don't have a problem with that. Pinning someone against the wall is way different than throwing them airborne across a room until they hit a wall and slump down to the floor. I pinned my son against the wall once .. when he drew back a fist to hit me. We were a few feet from the wall and I instinctively grabbed his arm and his body and pinned him against the wall so he couldn't hit me. He has not done that again .. so like you .. the lesson was learned. With my son, I realize that a lot of his instincts for violence are learned from his dad .. so I have to help him unlearn them and that's going to take some time.