ROFL (especially the last line) :o)


>>I hear a lot of talk about Democrats and Republicans these days.
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>>And that's all I really have to say about them.
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>>I was thinking, what is a platform that represents my political wants and needs?
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>>And came up with something for me.
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>>I figured it would be worth sharing to use as a starting point for discussion and maybe developing it into something that represents common suggestions from all the participants.
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>>So here it is, version 1.1 thanks to the suggestions from a newsgroup.
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>>It's broken into two categories.
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>>General ideas and goals:
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>1. A foreign policy of peace
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>Republican – Peace through war
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>Democrat – Peace through war
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>2. Emphasis on state's rights and people's rights and smaller federal government
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>Republican – We must attain a position where the individual governs him/herself – no big government. Government must not control the life of the individual, except for abortion, morality and a few other things that come to mind. However, republicans have done a great deal to increase the size of government over the last 36 years as an example. Say one thing – do another – be a politician. Speak to your audience – say what the audience wants to hear. If possible bring back slavery. It is good for the economy.
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>Democrat – Everyone should be free and government must help those that cannot help themselves.
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>
>3. Respect for the environment
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>Republican – Who cares? Get that oil and get it now!
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>Democrat – Do not eat animals or plants as they have feelings. Do not breath as this can consume oxygen and other gasses.
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>4. Free universal health care
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>Republican – Who needs it! Only those who can afford it should have medical care!
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>Democrat – Health care for all.
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>Specific ideas:
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>1. All federal laws that violate the Tenth Amendment should gradually be eliminated or amended to the Constitution.
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>Republican – We do not need a Constitution! The Constitution should be eliminated!
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>Democrat – There should only be federal law – law of the land!
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>2. Disband the electoral college through new Constitutional Amendment
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>Republican – Does not matter. Let the Supreme Court decide who should be President!
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>Democrat – The Electoral College is a means to avoid the large most populace states to control who will be president.
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>3. Constitutional Amendment that any new house or building must have solar panels on it
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>Republican – There will be no solar panels or any other type of energy generation other than oil! Coal may be acceptable. We cannot control the individual. Let people do whatever they like as long as we have an oil dependency.
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>Democrat – YES!
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>4. All laws relevant to corporations be re-evaluated with the people's interest in mind
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>Republican – The people should be reduced to slaves. Only the corporation has value to society.
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>Democrat – Down with corporations!
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>5. Laws that coerce the states to a certain policy, such as the legal drinking age, should be eliminated
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>Republican – We need such laws as this is a moral issue and we are a moral political entity!
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>Democrat – Booze for everyone regardless of age.
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>6. Eliminate federal drug laws except for socializing the manufacture and sale of pot for internal revenue
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>Republican – Just say no!
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>Democrat – We need drugs and not laws!
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>7. Lift FCC censorship of swear words and boobs on TV
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>Republican – No TV for anyone! It corrupts the moral fiber of our nation.
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>Democrat - Everyone will receive the Playboy channel for free!
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>I hope that I have offended everyone but will settle for a lesser amount. :)