rofl, thanks for the great laugh as I work late. *fingers crossed get to go home in 15 mins* >:)
>HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
>
>Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
>
>
>Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
>
>
>Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
>
>
>Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>
>
>Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
>
>France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
>
>
>Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>
>
>George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
>
>
>Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
>
>85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
>
>
>Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
>
>Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.
>
>
>Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
>
>
>Abortion clinics now available in every
>High School in United States .
>
>
>Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR ev en though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
>
>
>Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
>
>Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
>
>
>Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
>
>
>New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .
>
>
>IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>
>
>Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.