Sigh. Everybody knows you can't get real cheese in the US. So it must be true. I'm not knocking Wisconsin, but you need to get your head out of the churn and smell the rennet rather than the chyme.
;-)
"... They ne'er cared for us
yet: suffer us to famish, and their store-houses
crammed with grain; make edicts for usury, to
support usurers; repeal daily any wholesome act
established against the rich, and provide more
piercing statutes daily, to chain up and restrain
the poor. If the wars eat us not up, they will; and
there's all the love they bear us."
-- Shakespeare: Coriolanus, Act 1, scene 1