Here are a few more funny stories involving elderly people:

During Sunday services in the local church, an old lady leaned over to the man nearest her and whispered, "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
The man replied: "Buy new batteries for your hearing aid."


My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, curiosity got the best of me and I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a mustang." he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "in 1959. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-b asked,

"What did you teach?"


>Reminds me of the anecdote from Herb Caen's column in the SF Chronicle years ago.
>
>An older woman in a Mercedes is about to pull into a parking space when a young woman in a little sports car zips into is ahead of her. The girl gets out, smiles her beauty pageant smile and says "I guess I'm just younger and quicker." The older woman ploughs into the little car, nudging it out of the space and pretty much destroying the backend while only scratching the bumper on the Mercedes. She writes her insurance company on the back of a business card, tosses it into the sports car and says, "And I guess I'm just older and richer."
>
>
>
>>My mom sent me this:
>>
>>We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special"
>>was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
>>"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
>>"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents
>>because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
>>"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked
>>incredulously.
>>"YES!!" stated the waitress.
>>"I'll take the special then." my wife said.
>>"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.
>>"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.
>>She took the two eggs home.
>>DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! We've been around the block more than
>>once.