Similar vein:

A young Irish girl takes her new English husband back to the auld country. Her father, a farmer, picks them up from the railway station in the pony and trap. On the way back to the farm the father is quizing the husband:
"And what do you do for a living, my boy"
"I'm a ventriloquist, Sir"
" Ah, an what might that be?"
"If you stop for a minute I'll show you"
The farmer stops the cart. The husband climbs down, walks round to the front and addresses the horse:
" Good day Mister Horse, and how are you today?"
The horse replies: "I'm quite well thank you, Sir"
"And how are you being treated here in Ireland?"
"I'm treated very well. I'm well fed and well watered and have no complaints"
With this the husband climbs back on the cart and they continue on their journey. The father ponders this for a while and, a mile or so farther on, speaks again : "Ah, would you mind showing me that ting again?"
They stop near a field with a cow leaning over the gate.
"Good day to you Mrs Cow, and how are you today?" says the husband.
"I'm very well thank you" says the cow.
"And how are you being treated here in Ireland" asks the husband.
"Very well, thank you" says the cow. "I am well fed and watered and have no complaints"
The rest of journey is carried out in silence. Eventually they reach the farm. Whilst the family is finishing supper the farmer sidles out to a field where he keeps his sheep.
"Now listen up girls. There's a young fellow about who's asking questions"




>A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home.
>
>'Dad,' he says, 'You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, ol' Blue how to talk!'
>
>'That's amazing,' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'
>
>'Just send him down here with $1,000' the young cowboy says. 'I'll get him in the course.'
>
>So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
>
>About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
>
>'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son,' his father asks.
>
>'Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm,' he says, 'but you just won't believe this they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!'
>
>'Read!' says his father, 'No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?'
>
>'Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class.'
>
>The money promptly arrives. But the young cowboy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
>
>When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!'
>
>'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?'
>
>The father exclaimed, 'I hope you shot that son of a bit@h before he talks to your Mother!'
>
>'I sure did, Dad!'
>
>'That's my boy!'