But you never mentioned whether or not you liked the "teach a man to fish" alternatives.

Oh well, since you asked: I always imagined that the "teach a man to fish" analogy consisted of showing somebody a stick, a string, a hook, bait, and techniques to use them all together. As opposed to regarding it as obvious that you have to tie the hook to the string and the string to the stick, so people should be expected to sort that out themselves before they come to be taught to fish. I suppose another alternative is to forget about sticks and strings and smelly bait, because if you cast a .NET then food and drink will cascade onto your plate. Apart from that, of course the versions you posted are a laugh!