>>>>I don't know... I had some of the best times of my life in high school. I would hate to have missed that and I would hate to deprive my kids of that chance.
>>>
>>>But it's not that simple for everyone. For some kids, even when they're the same age as their classmates, social stuff is just hard.
>>>
>>>As a parent, you have to balance the whole equation.
>>>
>>>Tamar
>>
>>What a better place to learn social skills than in high school? Honestly, you have 4 years to make friends, figure out who you are, etc, etc. At the end of the 4 years if you don't like how it turned out you get a re-do when you go to college.
>>
>>If social skills aren't learned in HS, where are they learned? Or are they learned at all?
>
>I'll guess that you fitted in fairly well in school. I never did (until grad school really), neither did one of my sons. We each had small groups of friends, but school was _really_ tough.
>You may not have noticed but kids can be really cruel to those who don't fit in. Until recently, the general attitude has been that the victims need to "learn to take it" and similar things. Now we're finally starting to realize that it's the aggressors who are in the wrong and to teach that bullying is not acceptable.
>
>Some kids are just so different in their abilities and interests that high school is not a good place for them.
>
>Tamar

It was the same thing for me. I went through some crappy times in 9-11th grade because I wasn't out for football, I wasn't a car guy, I wasn't knowledgable about farming, and I didn't fit in. I was in band and choir. I didn't walk right, talk right, dress right, look right - I didn't do anything right according to the in-crowd. My mom tells me she remembers when I would come home, sit in a dark room by myself, and told her I really just didn't want to be alive anymore. It was THAT bad. My senior year I quit trying to fit in and it was a much better year. I made friends with people that were "too popular" before, and I learned a lot about life and a lot about relying on myself. I wouldn't trade that lesson for anything - it's something you learn and believe only if you go through it yourself. I was happy to get out of there, but it did indeed prepare me for the next step in my life.