Whilst enjoying a drink with a buddy one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and go back to her place.

Later, the young man pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" "No, don't be silly," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered fellow. Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."

>Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters, had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.
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>Of course, in due time, he did pass away; and the two blondes kept their promise.
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>They set off from New London, CT with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.
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>After a while Bubbles says, 'Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?'
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>Barbie slipped over the side; and finding the water only knee deep said, ’Nope, not yet, Bubbles.'
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>So they rowed a little farther.... Again Bubbles asked Barbie, 'do you think were out far enough now?’
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>Once again Barbie slipped over the side and almost immediately said, 'No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest.’
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>So on they rowed and rowed and rowed; and finally Barbie slipped over the side and disappeared.
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>Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles was really getting worried, when suddenly Barbie broke the surface.
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>Gasping for breath she said, 'OK, it's finally deep enough. Hand me the shovel.'