>>>>>You're probably breeding a future spy. She will become an expert at evading surveillance and countermeasures :-)
>>>>
>>>>Or perhaps she will grow up well adjusted and know that someone cared enough to watch over her.
>>>
>>>I hope she does. But trusting children isn't about neglect which is what you seem to think.
>>
>>By the same token, you seem to think that caring enough to watch over her is about lack of trust.
>
>I'm pretty sure Nicholas and I are in similar places on this, which is that kids earn increased trust as they get older. The problems with watching over a kid too closely are that a) they don't develop their own judgment; and b) it can lead to sneakiness.
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>FWIW, I think this whole discussion is really about what's appropriate watchfulness, what's not watchful enough, and what's too watchful. No one here is saying that you should let your kids do anything anytime at any age, and no one is saying that you should never let them do anything unsupervised at any age. The question we've been addressing from the beginning is what's appropriate supervision at what age. I even think we're all agreed that it varies with the child and the surroundings.
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>But even with that much agreement, we do appear to have differences, which I think come down to whether the err on the side of too much freedom or on the side of too much supervision.
>
>Tamar

I agree with you but I don't agree that I don't demonstrate enough trust. My daughter pretty much has the freedom to go anywhere. I just check up periodically to make sure she is actually where she stated she would be. I don't do it every time. Right now she and her best friend are out visiting other friends. I'm not checking to verify where she is. I only do it periodically and then mostly when it is late. I don't think that is unreasonable.

This discussion did begin on what age is appropriate for a 13 yr old girl to be out roaming alone. I agree it mostly depends on the neighborhoods, the means of transportation, their friends, but mostly on the individual child and what we, as their parents, feel they are ready for.