>>>>>>Unquestionably, it's a systemic problem that needs to be addressed systemically. What's interesting, of course, is that even in those neighborhoods, there are families that succeed in raising good kids. Some of them are traditional families, but some are single parents or even grandmothers raising kids. It would be interesting to know what makes the difference there. I suspect it's a mix of native ability with some other factors.
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>I think it may be tied to "cleanliness". I swear, I can count on one or two hands the number of houses in the hood that were clean. On those rare occasions, where we went to such a place, it was almost always occupied by grandma, and grandma was a woman you wouldn't have minded being your grandma. Almost all the others had nothing but filth, dirty clothes piled knee deep, roaches, food laying out, empty beer, wine and whiskey bottles everywhere, etc. They couldn't afford "anything", yet they could afford booze and dope and ciggies. I guess ingesting all those wonderful substances took their energy, which is why their crib was a pig sty.
>>>>
>>>>I think this is a question of what's cause and what's effect, though. I suspect in this case, the cause is the same, that is, whatever it is that makes those families effective also makes them keep a tidy home.
>>>>
>>>>Tamar
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>>>Then I know some families whose homes are sometimes like a disaster area but are close and loving.
>>>
>>
>>Yep. That's why I said it the way I did, that I think in this case, where you have a few functional families in a sea of dysfunction, that keeping the home clean/neat is just another sign of that functionality.
>>
>>Tamar
>
>I think that for some of these families what they need isn't police action but training in life skills. Its as though they have missed out on some key area of their development and don't know how to look after themselves.
Yes. Unfortunately, it's often hereditary (but not necessarily through the actual gene pool).
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