>That's good at least. IMO it's good for a child to have both parents involved, even if they can't stand each other any more.
>
>Sure- but families have done OK with Dad away for years (or never being seen again) off fighting Hitler or whatever, for generations, without the kids becoming criminals- quite the opposite in fact. Actually there's some evidence now that if dad is going to leave the family home it's better if he goes away and just visits occasionally rather than taking part in the complex joint custody arrangements favored by Courts for middle class families. On that basis, the families of whom JH complains should be doing better than the middle class kids participating in complex sharing arrangements. Which just goes to show that human beings are terribly illogical. ;-)

They aren't, but then you never have enough to put that logic together. In this case, the difference is in the attitude of the kids' nearest. There's a slight difference between "gone to fend off the nazis, may come with a medal, or without it, or without a leg, but he's a hero" and "I donwanna see that piece of scum ever again", "I don't care if he comes out of jail tomorrow, he'll be back there in no time". IOW, it's that detail of your parent acting in a socially acceptable way or not, which can ruin your day from time to time.