>>I missed you, but my aim is gett'n better.
>>I won't take you to a dog fight, 'cus I'm afraid you'll win.
>>If the phone doesn't ring, you'll know it's me.
>>It's hard to kiss the lips that chewed my a$$ all day.
>>She took my ring and give me the finger.
>>She ran away with my best friend and boy I miss him.
>
>I don't know if any of those are real (it wouldn't surprise me), but I do know this one is for real. On the 45 (before your time?) by Nino Tempo and April Stevens of "Deep Purple", the flip side was a song called I've Been Carrying A Torch For You So Long That I Burned a Great Big Hole In My Heart.

Purple prose indeed.

I have always thought a good name for a country song would be "I've Got Half a Mind To Stay With You".