>>>>I missed you, but my aim is gett'n better.
>>>>I won't take you to a dog fight, 'cus I'm afraid you'll win.
>>>>If the phone doesn't ring, you'll know it's me.
>>>>It's hard to kiss the lips that chewed my a$$ all day.
>>>>She took my ring and give me the finger.
>>>>She ran away with my best friend and boy I miss him.
>>>
>>>I don't know if any of those are real (it wouldn't surprise me), but I do know this one is for real. On the 45 (before your time?) by Nino Tempo and April Stevens of "Deep Purple", the flip side was a song called I've Been Carrying A Torch For You So Long That I Burned a Great Big Hole In My Heart.
>>
>>Purple prose indeed.
>>
>>I have always thought a good name for a country song would be "I've Got Half a Mind To Stay With You".
>
>I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
>I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
>I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
>I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
>
>Man, these are funny! :)

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

And my 3 favourites:

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart