>>I suppose me position on the whole parental vigilance is closest to Nick Mason's, among those who have weighed in here. I am not blind to the dangers out there, and have made sure my daughters aren't blind to them, either, but believe kids will be handicapped as adults if they are kept on too short a leash. This outlook comes specifically from my own experiences. I realize others have seen the dark side more closely and are therefore more protective.
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>It's really only a question of 'at what point' do you release the leash. Nobody here is disagreeing on how to raise the kids, only on how quickly or slowly the process is allowed to evolve.
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>Personally, probably because, even though I live in a pretty good neighbourhood, I live in Toronto, 13 seems a bit young to me to allow them off the leash entirely. There has been a lot of hyperbole in this thread, mostly coming from Jay, imho, but even though I don't tend to see bogeymen around every corner, I do tend to agree with his position that 13 is a bit young, and that the mere fact that your own neighbourhood seems safe, doesn't mean it will stay that way forever. I wouldn't want to be responsible for what might happen to a child that age allowed out alone on the day it changes.

I don't think anyone here has said to release the leash entirely at 13. Rather, we've said that many kids of 13 can handle some independence. When I allowed my 13-year-olds to go off and do stuff, there were clear expectations about where they were going, who they were going to be with, and when they'd be back. They were also expected to find a phone (this predates everyone carrying a cellphone) and call if there was any reason to change the plans.

I assure you that they weren't simply allowed to go do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, wherever they wanted. I think the key is that the older the kids get and the more responsible they show themselves to be, the longer the leash gets. But we also keep in our minds that come college, the leash would be released and they needed to be ready to make good decisions, so they needed lots of practice before that.

Tamar