No apology needed at all. Thank you for the good thoughts. I am doing much better yesterday and today, especially today, although still upset about what happened on Friday. Somewhere along the way alcohol has become truly poisonous for me. With the anti-depressant I have been taking since January my mood is pretty stable most of the time. Add alcohol, though, and watch out. I know I need to stop completely and not indulge myself with "occasional" drinking days. Because obviously anything can happen

Congrats on the weight loss! That's terrific.

I think I will probably be on here a lot less, at least for a while. Starting in early October I am going to be in an intensive three month training program that will take up most of my time. Maybe it's best for me to get a head start on spending less time on the UT so it isn't a shock to the system.

>Mike,
>
>I hope you will be alright. Life is difficult at times. I too have fought depression over the years, part of it caused by life, part of it by the effects of hypoglycemia on my blood sugar level, part of it in response to one of my son's choices and part of it caused by being overweight for a few years now. The overweight part I've been taking care of by losing weight rapidly (or so I think) by exercise and limiting my carb intake.
>
>I do not think that when we look back, after this life, that we will think of it as having been a long time. I believe that the spirit goes on after this life and will some day reunite with it in the resurrection.
>
>Again, life is difficult, but it IS worth living and continuing on, even in spite of the disappointments and difficulties we run into. I believe we will run into our relatives after this life (for good or bad). Sorry, I don't mean to come off as a preacher man here, but these are my beliefs, otherwise I might not have felt any hope in life over the years.
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>There is reason to look forward and to have hope for meaningfulness in your life. Look for it, Mike. You will find it in serving others. Don't let yourself be alone either. But be with good people, like you find here on UT.
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>It's obvious that there are people here on UT who care about you, so hang in there. :)
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>If I have over-done it here I apologize to you, Mike. I was only concerned.
>
>Cecil
>
>>Thank you for the message on my recorder. My night ranger days are in remission so I was sleeping soundly at the time.
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>Thank you all for the kind thoughts. I think now I am a little crazy and need all the friendship I can get. Not free passes -- no need to tiptoe -- just friendship. In a way I still feel like myself, exactly the way I have felt since about age 7, but in a way different. Call me a work in progress.