This story is from some previous financial crisis: A man goes to a hotel and asks for a room in one of the upper floors. The receptionist asks: "Sure. Do you want it for sleeping, or for jumping?"

>NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
>
>CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
>
>CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
>
>BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
>mistake himself for a financial genius.
>
>BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
>allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
>
>VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
>
>P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants
>as the market keeps crashing.
>
>BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
>
>STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
>
>STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
>
>STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
>assets equally between themselves.
>
>FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
>
>MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
>
>CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
>down the toilet.
>
>YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
>for $240 per share.
>
>WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
>bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
>
>INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked
>up in a nuthouse.
>
>PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.