LOL!

>In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United
>States, and said:
>Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the
>end of all flesh before me.
>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
>humans.
>
>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark
>before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.
>
>
>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
>but no Ark.
>
>Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?
>Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, 'but things have changed.
>
>I needed a building permit.
>
>I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
>
>My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by
>building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
>We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
>
>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
>future costs of moving power lines
>and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to
>the sea.
>I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing
>of it.
>
>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
>in order to save the spotted owl.
>
>I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the
>owls - but no go!
>
>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
>They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and
>inhumane
>to put so many animals in a confined space.
>
>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
>environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>
>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
>how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>
>Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of
>the people who want to work.
>
>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only
>Union workers with Ark-building experience.
>
>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to
>leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish
>this Ark.
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
>across the sky.
>
>
>Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
>'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'
>
>'No,' said the Lord.
>'The government beat me to it.