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Noah in the modern times
Message
From
01/11/2008 21:18:52
 
General information
Forum:
Business
Category:
Creative writing
Miscellaneous
Thread ID:
01358538
Message ID:
01358926
Views:
33
Nice joke, but the last sentence is so typically the American culture, the American way of disliking any intervention by the government, the American way of derogating their own government. Americans fail to recognize that the government is the people. Or does a president OWN the U.S.?

>In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United
>States, and said:
>Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the
>end of all flesh before me.
>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
>humans.
>
>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark
>before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.
>
>
>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
>but no Ark.
>
>Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?
>Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, 'but things have changed.
>
>I needed a building permit.
>
>I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
>
>My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by
>building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
>We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
>
>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
>future costs of moving power lines
>and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to
>the sea.
>I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing
>of it.
>
>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
>in order to save the spotted owl.
>
>I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the
>owls - but no go!
>
>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
>They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and
>inhumane
>to put so many animals in a confined space.
>
>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
>environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>
>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
>how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>
>Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of
>the people who want to work.
>
>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only
>Union workers with Ark-building experience.
>
>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to
>leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish
>this Ark.
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
>across the sky.
>
>
>Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
>'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'
>
>'No,' said the Lord.
>'The government beat me to it.
Groet,
Peter de Valença

Constructive frustration is the breeding ground of genius.
If there’s no willingness to moderate for the sake of good debate, then I have no willingness to debate at all.
Let's develop superb standards that will end the holy wars.
"There are three types of people: Alphas and Betas", said the beta decisively.
If you find this message rude or offensive or stupid, please take a step away from the keyboard and try to think calmly about an eventual a possible alternative explanation of my message.
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