>>>>
>>>>Although sometimes it feels like I should be paid to read some of this drivel...
>>>
>>>:-) The twit filter is actually kind of benign - in real life people use restraining orders or tasers.
>>
>>Don't tase me bro!
>
>I'm an old fashioned guy - I carry one of my collection of sword-canes.

How about a sword umbrella, like The Penguin?