>>>>>>I do not tend to say "Grow up, get over it" but I do not hesitate to try to point out to the afflicted person that a gestalt shift is necessary in seeing what parts of life are under their control and the once this is appreciated the outlook can indeed be brighter and more importantly the insight can be very empowering.
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>>>>>Agree, but it's not simply a matter of saying "hey, you need a Gestallt Shift!" or "hey, you see it wrong". It often takes many steps before this switch - all of a sudden - happens. It's the "ah, now I see!" that the therapist is searching for in the client's way of thinking.
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>>>>Very, very true. However, saying "there, there" and telling the person that the other person is a b*%^*#d for treating them so badly isn't going to help them realise that they may need a gestalt shift.
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>>>It's bedtime for me, but I'll reply to this one. :)
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>>>So you tell every friend who complains about someone else that he needs a Gestallt Switch?
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>>You don't tell people they need a change in Gestalt. The trick is to get them to once see it the other way (the essence of a Gestalt shift) or to behave as if they did. Of course it isn't easy, but it is a method that actually works and is oriented toward achieving changes in behavior.
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>>You can tell I'm not much of a Freudian. I'm pretty convinced that insight without behavior change is just wallowing. But sometimes behavior change can lead to insight.
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>>When I used to teach the kind of things that required having your head in the game or having your head handed to you, we'd often use the cliche "Feal the fear - and do it anyway." Sometimes being understanding about shortcomings in oneself or others leads to enabling them.
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>So you try to convince every friend who complains about someone else that he needs to change?

Did I miss something? How did you come to that understanding?