>[...]
>>Didn't you advise that we should take the side of the friend and thell them that the other person is a b------d for treating them this way? Didn't you say pretty much that this is how one treats one's friends and not by telling them that the fault might be theirs?
>
>I use both 'tactics'. It are the details that matter here.
>
>From the very moment that someone 'discovers' that a friend is oftentimes (or "always") playing the victim role, rather than really being a victim, it is tempting to 'remember' this each next time that this person complains about someone else.
>
>Personally, I prefer to 'discover' that this friend has certain skills, a certain knowledge of the world and a certain idea about justice that causes new cases that are perceived by this friend as victimization and perceived by others in a different perspective.
>
>Other times I apply the same Gestalt as this friend (afterall, friends do share many opinions).
>
>And there are many occasions where I use a combination. First I kind of confirm their emotion ("he's indeed a b___d"), only later I make certain mild critics ("perhaps it was not wise to start yelling at him").

Ok, but in your previous post - see my second response, you made no mention of confirming anything. You seemed to immediately and unconditionally take your friend's side.