>>>>Second reply. Ok, I found it. You said:
>>>>
>>>>Some here urge Naomi to blame herself. That's their way of supporting her, but the message is not lowering her stress at all. On the contrary, it is increasing her stress. Instead, they should show empathy and tell her that this twitter is a b#%$^d indeed. Choose her side, show her that she's not the only one who thinks it was unjust.
>>>>
>>>>That's pretty black and white. We should simply take her side and derogate the other person. All I tried to point out is that if the other person is not a b#%$^d indeed, then it's doing everyone a disservice, Naomi included, to behave that way. If I misunderstood what you said in that paragraph, I really don't know how.
>>>
>>>Even if Naomi is playing the victim role (not my opinion), even then it may be the case that this twitter is doing wrong. It are the details (in the case at hand) that matter.
>>>The problem with my advice to 'tell her that this twitter is a b#%$^d indeed' is that it is indeed probably too harsh (and derogating) for this person. Allow me to change my advice to tell her that this twitter is thus behaving like a b#%$^d indeed.
>>
>>Problem is that until you talk to that person, and get his side of the story, you don't really even know that much. Regardless, the best thing Naomi can do is to get on with her life. Who cares any more whose fault it is, or who is acting badly. It's long past time to suck it up and go on.
>
>Alan,
>Doesn't the other person have the right to just remove himself from the situation though? At what point did this person cross a certain line as to where he owed an explanation as to why he didn't want to communicate with Naomi?

Sure he has that right. Personally, if it were me, out of simple courtesy, I'd provide an explanation, but then afaic that would end it. I'd not necessarily feel any obligation beyond that. Certainly no obligation to argue and debate about my decision. But as I said, it would be a simple courtesy, not an obligation. My point to Peter was just that taking sides without knowing both sides may not be the best way to help a friend. I don't think anybody is being helped if not being dealt with in complete honesty. And no, I'm not talking about saying your friend's new hairdo is monstrous even if you think it. But simple commiseration is not always the best policy. Sometimes it just increases the problem, if there is a problem.