Christmas is probably a very hard time for you.
I understand that you do not like hearing about a higher power, but Jesus brings salvation. Not only salavation from death but salvation from alcohol. Try to find a church and go to the Christmas service, even just to listen to the children sing.
God bless you. I will keep you in my prayers this Christmas.

Merry Christmas and happy new year.

Einar

>Maybe I really am nuts. I am sure I have tried everyone's patience.
>
>When I am sober I don't feel nuts.
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>When I go to AA meetings I don't feel nuts. When I go to meetings I feel it. But when they get going about the higher power they drive me away.
>
>I absolutely believe it when they say this is a progressive disease that can kill you.
>
>I am a terrible person when I drink. I hope that's only when.
>
>There is a woman I like in the group. She smiles a lot. She always comes in late. She speaks frankly but not theatrically I like everything about her. She is an alcoholic, like me, but she smiles and laughs easily. She is working hard at staying sober. I like her.
>
>Who cares what a drunk thinks? How worthless is that, even at Christmas?