>>>>Doing a lot of reading. That's my temporary remedy. I sincerely hope working again, in an exotic locale, will snap me out of it. I have been more worried about money than I let on to anyone.
>>>
>>>
>>>Sorry to chip in here Mike but I think when Tracy said you where expecting outside factors to help you stop she was spot on when she said that won't work. There's only on person that can stop your problem and thats you. They do have bars and they do have shops selling booze in Baton Rouge and you will be away from whatever support you have in place at home.
>>
>>I appreciate that. I appreciate everything that might help me. It's down to me, I know that. To be extremely honest I am torn between knowing what it does to me and continuing to drink. It has a power I have been unable to deny.
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>>Lots of the time I visualize the nice life I have experienced sober. Every time I go to AA, well, most of the time, I feel it. Drunks helping drunks. I just wish there was group therapy without the god agenda.
>>
>>Mike
>
>* SET RANT ON *
>
>Get real (again). There are groups in the Chicago area without the god agenda. I sent you the links. If I recall correctly, you didn't want to take a train for too long to get there. You are willing to travel for a job, but not for your sobriety.
>
>Have you really given AA a chance? Do you call your sponsor every time before you drink? Every time I have asked you in the past, you answered No. Or are you afraid that he/she may actually talk you out of taking that drink? Your aversion to GOD talk is just another excuse to not work at it.
>
>You haven't sunk low enough or you would be working harder for your sobriety.
>
>* SET RANT OFF *

I replied in the heat of anger before. Here is another try, with a tip of the hat to the regular who emailed me with a dose of harsh reality.

There are no groups I know about around here which do not have a god agenda. Some in the city but realistically, 50 miles away? I wish there was one.

I have already found the AA groups in Baton Rouge and will be going.

I do want to stay sober. I have already come a long way from the bad old days of drinking every day and can go the last mile. Just 't haven't closed the door yet.

My thanks to you and everyone else for caring for me probably more than I deserve.